I always find myself telling clients and friends to look forward and not backward – I mean, the past is only to be learned from right? However, when you take the time to remember WHO YOU USED TO BE, you can have a better appreciation and understanding for who you are TODAY and see just how far you’ve come!
So, today, I’ll give you some insight into the “Old” me…and what thoughts ran through my head before I began my mission with fitness about 5 or more years ago…
” OH MY GOODNESS – I am so stressed out! I can’t pinpoint one particular thing it could it – It’s work, it’s money, It’s relationships – I have so much stress and have no idea how to handle it all! I feel like no one understands me and that I’m so far off in my head that I try to act like a happy person than I feel on the inside. I just cover it all up hoping it’ll go away… Sidenote, maybe if I have another Starbucks, Caramel upside down macchiato to be exact, or even a tall glass of wine…or 3….it’ll help me deal or at least stay awake through it all!
There’s really no point in even trying to work off the stress with a workout. After I drag myself up to get dressed and climb into the gym, I try workout for a week and then maybe a couple of more weeks after that and see NO results. Like, none! So, why even try? I even skip meals here and there and try to cut back calories – I eat all fat free, low carb…I read the magazines and try to follow diets but nothing seems to work. The fat burners I’ve bought work, but they are so expensive! That’s okay, I’ll be going out later anyway and when I’m drinking and having fun, none of this matters anyway right?
Don’t get me started on my ‘love life.’ If you can call it that. I try to date and open up to people but they just hurt me over and over again, I don’t get it! I’m the nicest girl, I cook for them, I make our weekend plans, but they just seem to either not respect me or think I want to get too serious too fast….grr..I hate dating, shouldn’t I be married by now?!
And don’t even get me started on people. They drive me nuts! That’s why I find it easier to gossip and just keep frenemies close by, I mean, why not right?? No one’s going to stick around for the long haul anyway. I’ve got Jaeden and that’s all I need right?
Honestly, I feel lost. I feel like no matter how many people I surround myself with that I feel empty. I’m always sad and always down, but try to be positive on the outside. I don’t understand why I’ve been dealt the cards I’ve been dealt – it’s so unfair!”
I think to myself: WHO WAS I?? WHY WAS I SO NEGATIVE?
I mean, even in the last year or so I’ve seen a huge shift in my overall attitude on life and my choices as a personal and individual. Even writing this, those thoughts are completely 100% those I’ve thought in the past. Those that know me now know that I am very mindful of what I now eat and do to work off stress through exercise and healthy habits instead of leaning on unhealthy ones. They also know that I remain positive and focused on my dreams and future goals rather than what everyone else is doing because that’s totally wasted energy. I even found the man of my dreams AFTER I was single for almost a year and wasn’t actively looking to date. He is supportive, likes to enjoy life with me, and neither of us have to ‘try’ with the other to make anything work – with communication and genuine trust and care, it just does.
In 2010 I also gave my heart to God and began to trust in His love instead of my own understanding. It wasn’t working, what I thought was the right thing to do, and I knew he would lead me to better and happier days.
He led me to finding what my true passion was, what kind of environment to surround myself with, and how to calm down instead of getting riled up easily over the little things.
My purpose in writing this post today was to show people WHO I was before. People see who I am now and know I had a weight loss journey but don’t necessarily see how lost and low I was before inside my own thoughts. I am by no means 100% Miss positive ALL of the time nor am I complete on my journey through life. We’re all works in progress throughout our lifetimes.
To those I coach and work with, I try to be that guide that I once needed needed. That positive and supportive force that could teach positive thoughts. Positive lessons like how hard work is the only way to get through tough spots – nothing is handed out freely. It all starts with a belief in what is possible and then work to get to that goal – SURROUNDING ONE’S SELF WITH POSITIVITY and not mindless noise or things or habits is how to get anything we want in life!
Have you looked back at WHO you were BEFORE to appreciate WHO you are NOW?