Date your Mate!

As we head into Valentine’s Day, reflecting on our relationships is always at the forefront! With any couples who are married or in a partnership, we all had to start somewhere and that usually was through DATING.

 

Gary and I began dating back in May of 2010 and have literally been stuck like glue since we met in the gym while I was just starting my renewed fitness journey. Go figure I would meet my partner in crime while working on FITNESS! We connected immediately through our love of exploring, traveling, and life in general! He has always been in my corner as my support system and friend throughout the past 6 years …

 

We seemed to move pretty fast on our journey, becoming engaged to be married 7 months after dating, and then getting married a year and a half after that … they say when you know, you know – but we also know that with marriage comes lots of lessons learned through the highs and lows of any relationship. He’s been there for me during lots of lows in our life unrelated to each other including my Bankruptcy, multiple surgeries for each of us, grief situations … we’ve truly been tested, but we always come back to remembering what’s most important is that we’re strong together.

 

Especially after our move to Las Vegas, we really began to grow close. No longer could we depend on our family or our friends to run away to, we had only each other to look towards for support and to make things work no matter what. We haven’t been closer than we are now, and I feel a renewed sense of relationship with each other. A huge part of that has been our commitment to putting our health and each other first.

 

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An engagement photo of ours from 2011

Yes, we don’t have kids just yet, so that tends to make life a little simpler to most. But, to me, I want to make sure we have as solid of a foundation as we can possible before even thinking about that part of our life.
Keeping a DATING MENTALITY – both of us – is the most important thing we’ve done to remain as strong as we can. There’s a lot of different things that we’ve continued to make a priority:
❤  Weekly DATE NIGHTS:  Every Friday Night is OUR NIGHT. We take turns choosing a new place to visit, restaurant to try, show to see, so that we have the chance to see our new city together and experience it TOGETHER.
❤  LEARNING the LOVE LANGUAGE of each other and speaking that. If you haven’t read the book or seen the study on “The 5 Love Languages” you should! It’s awesome for couples and also for relationships in general! What we both learned is that we have some similar and some different languages in which we speak and receive love. I am someone who appreciates “Acts of Service” and “Words of Affirmation” and Gary is also “Words of Affirmation” but also “Quality time.” What does that mean? That means that I can’t clean the whole house and expect Gary to see that as a sign of love – to him, he’d rather me set down my phone and watch the football game with him holding hands. Vice versa, if I come home from a trip and he’s food prepped for me and cleaned the house, I feel loved.
❤  Surrounding ourselves with OTHER COUPLES on our Walk together: Since moving to Las Vegas we’ve gotten plugged into an awesome community that includes friends we’ve had and made since being here. We go out to dinner with and hang out with them so that we have that common support together – DOUBLE DATES are underestimated! Why not have a chance to have time with friends, but also have it be friends who support you as a couple? Even those we interact with online are there to support us as a duo! Gary can use some dude time with my friends’ husbands and I love catching up with the girls.
familyFremont
❤  True friends SUPPORT your DATING relationship: Friends and family have to respect and understand that the two of you are important to each other. Friends I talk to don’t get into complaint chats with me about our husbands on a regular basis – we should be openly talking about how great they are to us and how we can each work on being better for them. Even friends who are single can enjoy time with us (we’re not that crazy PDA couple lol) but they also have to be those who tell me things I can do in a honest way to be better and who pray for us to remain strong and devoted to one another.
❤  As an independent woman, I’ve had to learn to LET HIM BE THE GENTLEMAN: I have to remember to let Gary help me. Just as he did while we were dating – picking me up, driving us around – I want him to know I want and need him around. I want him to know I love and appreciate him always.
❤  DRESS the part!: This is an area I had to really work on once we moved in together and also now being a full-time fitness gal. I could wear workout clothes all day, every day. However, I should spruce up and get prettied up to enjoy that dating feel with my hubby. We’ve even learned some tips from Chalene Johnson’s podcast about Gary letting me get ready before seeing me so that he sees the end result and now the whole process of getting ready which isn’t as exciting!
❤  Keep making each other LAUGH! One of the biggest and best qualities I remember from our initial dating life was that Gary ALWAYS knows how to make me laugh. He also would laugh at all of my corniness! In our heated moments it’s easy to lose sight of that – it’s easy to get caught up in the negative when there’s so much more positive instead! We’ve constantly been focusing on putting more humor into our lives – through our interactions, our activities, the movies we watch, in all we do – when you laugh at life, there’s really nothing to be mad about!
We are an imperfect couple while I feel we are perfect for each other. I learned a lot from my marriage in these first years – and I learned how bad past relationships could damage what I have with my husband. Keep each other at the forefront of our thought and putting our faith first before all else has been a huge help and my goal is to show others that they don’t have to be a perfect couple – just be perfect together and work through your imperfect moments! Life’s too short to not KEEP DATING!

How do you continue to date your mate?

HI! I'M KAT - I am a pug-mom, wife, NASM Certified Personal Trainer, & Fitness Coach focusing on living the fit life while tackling work, coaching others - doing it all! My blog is to hold me accountable for all the goals I plan on accomplishing and also a way for me to try to inspire others through my own experiences - if I can do it ANYONE can! Fitness is a huge part of my life as well as travel and seeing all that life has to be lived! PAY IT FORWARD!

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1 Comment
  • Reply
    February 8, 2016, 12:04 pm

    Let’s just say I need to do a better job of it. Thanks for the ideas and the encouragement!

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